Get Thee Gone, Thief of Joy: Curses to use for dog trainers who won't reward dogs with food

I just made the joy-sucking error of looking at the website of a dog trainer who seems to love aversive tools and, by their own proclamation, “We don’t use any treats in our training methods”. In case the hapless reader was unclear, they add for clarity purposes that they “Never reward with treats”. If you happen to be a new reader of mine, let me clarify my position, and the position of the vast and heaving mob of modern, educated, and credentialled dog behaviour professionals: using food to change a dog’s behaviour and emotional state is valid, useful, welfare-forward, and easy; and to avoid the practice of rewarding and conditioning dogs with food treats is probably sliding into (what we hope will eventually be accepted as) malpractice territory. Sure, there are some times and contexts when we use other rewards and we frequently use other practices such as management as well, but a blanket no-food statement? That’s the reddest of flags in the red flag shop.

Side note: it’s actually kind of nice that this trainer is so upfront. Many trainers who eschew food rewards and rely upon aversive tools and techniques obfuscate their methods using an attractive set of phrases like “build your relationship using leadership” and “rely upon natural communication between canines”. So the clarity at least is…refreshing?

And ugh, there I go, finding something nice about this whole thing and using positive reinforcement again.

So, upon reading this and doing my absolute best to not think about all the dogs under their care who are receiving what likely amounts to abuse in the name of behaviour change, I shook my fist and yelled into the sky, “WHAT A THIEF OF JOY THIS TRAINER IS!” Because…I can’t imagine not rewarding with treats. I can’t imagine not seeing my dogs tippy-toe dance around when they know it’s time to train. I can’t imagine my dogs not seeing me as a safe harbour and Pez dispenser of caloric joy. I just can’t imagine.

Calling them a thief of joy made me feel slightly better, and I started to get into a bit of a Shakespearean insult mood. I mean, wasn’t the Bard supposed to be the Bardy Best at this stuff? Let’s see what he has to say (in my imagination at least) about people who cling, somewhat absurdly, to their prong collars and shock collars, and who regularly make their way to our spaces to spew their dismaying vitriol.

You bull’s pizzle! I mean, we all know what pizzles are. Because WE GIVE THEM TO OUR DOGS AS TREATS.

Methink’st thou art a general offense. This one might not be as pithy but…how can you come back from this? You’re done.

Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage. But don’t you worry, bud, a dog will almost certainly still love you, because…biscuit. You heard of those? Maybe, you know. GIVE THEM A CHANCE SOMETIME.

I do wish thou were a dog, that I might love thee something. Like even the S-man knew that dogs were lovable, fam. And didn’t live solely for us to control, coerce, and crapeth upon.

I’m not in favour of heading out into the social media mosh pit and insulting trainers who use aversives with personal, ad-hominem attacks, which these most certainly are. Some of these trainers, like many of our clients, have absolutely been led astray by their own educational or life journeys. But sometimes, just amongst ourselves, it’s nice to share a bit of a laugh, isn’t it? Because when it comes to dogs being trained by people who baldly refuse to use food, I gotta say: If you don’t laugh, you do sometimes cry.